I Chose to Leave Home

 Yesterday, I moved to Armenia from Quimbaya, where I lived for more than 5 years at a farm with my family. I moved for multiple reasons, I moved because I felt the urge, the call, the need for change. I moved because it seemed like I was stuck and something needed to be done. 

A song is coming back to me every time to give me hope: 

"Holy, holy grandmother, we sing
Wash us clean of our pain and suffering
Give us strength for our new beginnings
In my best thanks I sing" -Wash It Away

Was it really necessary to leave home? or was it just a burst?
Trying to enumerate all the aspects that got me really emotionally tired and even physically sick...

1. Convivence: I shared a room with a really toxic and abusive brother which was always trying to take advantage of me and my mom and always did.

2. The house owners were really rude lately and did not even let me take my online classes normally because they were building up some shit (for more than 3 years and even got us to pay them a lot more than usually)

3. I found out the ones I called friends were not aligned to my current lifestyle and goals (They are still stuck on self-damaging acts and are quite controlling) Actually understood I had no friends.

4. Quimbaya did not have much to offer to me. (nor job, nor studies, nor opportunities)

The advantages of moving to my new place:

1. The possibility of getting a job in the city (a dream to get my independence) 

2. As a result of a job's income being able to kill my debts

3. Intuition: My soul had told me for so long that I needed to leave home to start the journey through my goals.

4. New experiences, jumping out of my comfort zone.

5. Get to manage my time, my acts, get to build a deeper relationship with myself non-based on what toxic people think or want.

6. Rest from all the toxicity that was surrounding me there.

Right now I'm living with some money my mother lent me, which really is a blessing I am thankful for.

Waiting for a job interview and trying to keep on going with my studies (my university and faculty is kind of in the middle of a strike)}

But keep on positive, my dear... Since remember and not do forget that the sun will rise tomorrow.

I am really grateful to God and life for giving me this amazing opportunity.

Blessed, Mariana.

Quintas de la Marina.

July 1rst, 2021

9:33 PM